It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
