I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
im six kinds of drunk right now
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So much Jack, so little girl.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
