i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
