I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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