we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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