My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
