Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
