I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
