omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
