In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
