whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
