I will die if light touches me.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
