The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
