Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
