how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
