I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
