Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
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