How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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