Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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