I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
