I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
