OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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