remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
