I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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