Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
