I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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