We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
