i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
