I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i just had sex bonerless
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize