I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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