stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm just crazy horny about you
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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