Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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