Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
