didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
