yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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