Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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