I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
