i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
