when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
try to milk me bitch
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
