**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
