I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
you inspire me to be a worse person
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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