Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
