Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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