i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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