is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
