You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
