scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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