Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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