best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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