I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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