Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
