Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Go christen that room with your naked body.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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