# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
