Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
