If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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