My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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