Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
