In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
