whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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