Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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