okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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