he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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