Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
