We're facebook friends in real life
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
