Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
