my vag is so smooth its legendary
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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